Pregnancy Is No Joke
by SecretBook
Summary: Tsuna just wanted to see the reaction of the weirdos- I mean friends and family around him when he tells them that he is "pregnant". But things escalated quickly and went out of control... out of control as in worldwide out of control.
1. 1-Byakuran

**1- Byakuran No!  
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**A/N I guess this is what they call a crack fic?**

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><p>A boy is walking in the streets of his hometown, looking from left to right, searching for any familiar faces.<p>

He doesn't really want to do this but... A challenge is a challenge. Not to add that he wants to prove to Kurokawa Hana that the people around him aren't weirdos, as she said.

"Oh really?! Then how about you go tell them, let's say... that you are pregnant. See what their reactions are."

Silly. Him? Pregnant?! What is that?! He is a boy! He can't have a baby! They learned that since they were still kids. Pff, silly Kurogawa.

With the total assurance that none of his acquaintances are uncultivated enough to actually believe this nonsense, Tsuna begins to put his certainty into actions.

At this exact moment, he spots Byakuran strolling casually in a deserted park and stuffing marshmallows in his mouth. The white haired teen has decided to stay in Namimori for a while, playing a bit with the Vongolas, after the Arcobaleno's curse is lifted.

"B-Byakuran!" The boy runs up to his once deadly enemy now friend, "I-I have something to tell you!"

"How unusual of you to come see me, Tsunayoshi-kun." The white haired teen replies with a smile in his trademark carefree over-sweet voice.

"Y-yes… emmm…" Tsuna fidgets a bit before finally gathering up his courage and announces clearly, "I-I am pregnant!"

"..." Byakuran stares at him in shock, showing the chewed marshmallows in his mouth.

Well this reaction is to be expected. That guy is literally a genius (one that almost destroyed the world but still one hella genius); there is no way he would believe that a male can bear a baby.

After a few second of utter silence, the white haired man lowers the bag of marshmallows, stares right into Tsuna's eyes and…

"Actually Tsunayoshi-kun, I also have something to tell you... I am pregnant of our child too." Byakuran whispers lovingly, his hands on his slightly round abdomens (actually just marshmallows in there). It is as if he really does have a kid.

Nope. It was idiotic to actually think someone like him would give a decent answer. But this one sure breaks all limits.

"Okay bye Byakuran, I'll never see you again." Says someone as he quickly escapes by activating his HDWM and flies off.

"Tsunayoshi-kun! Wait up! Please take responsibilities!" Shouts Byakuran helplessly like a frail abandoned pregnant wife. "Come back darling, I need you!"

Nope, nope, nope. No way in hell he's going back, thought a certain boy who almost crashed in a tree, shaken by mere words from the white haired teen.

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><p><strong>AN Anyone can think up a better title or summary? 'Cause I suck at both... OTL**


	2. 2-Hibari Kyoya

**Hibari Why?!  
><strong>

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><p>Tsuna keeps flying. He isn't so sure about this whole challenge anymore. At first, it looks so simple, but on second thought… Hana quite is right.<p>

A deserted place is best for a troubled mind. At this time of the year, Namimori shrine doesn't have a lot of visitors. The fresh air and breezes are just what it takes for relaxation. It is without wonder that Tsuna would choose this place to calm his mind.

Although, before he could land, the boy spots another familiar face in slumber, one he doesn't want to see or to disturb right now.

"Omnivore..." Guess what's next? "For disturbing my sleep, I'll bite you to death." Yeah, the usual.

Wait what?! Why?! He didn't even make a sound! It's like, he flies above him, floats there for a millisecond, and the fearsome skylark's sharp eyes flip open.

Justice! Where is the world's justice?!

Oh wait, Hibari Kyoya is justice… in Namimori… and maybe in other towns nearby…

Without giving Tsuna the time to answer, Hibari brandishes his tonfas out of nowhere and begins to attack.

"Wait!" Hibari Kyoya isn't going to wait during a fight, little Tsuna. You should already know that by now. "I am pregnant!"

…Well this isn't part of the non-existent plan.

Damn his subconscious that wants to know Hibari's reaction about that.

The attack halts in mid air. The older teen stands on his trusty box weapon, Roll, and examines Tsuna from head to toes.

"For breaking the school's regulation article 24 section 1 part A: pregnancies are not allowed in school and results in an immediate expulsion. I will bite you to death."

That's not the point Hibari! Get a hold of yourself! Did you nap too much and isn't fully awake yet?! A man can't be pregnant! It's biologically impossible! And we are not even in school!

Tsuna runs- I mean flies away in the fastest speed he ever managed, holding down the cries of frustration from escaping his mouth.


	3. 3-Rokudo Mukuro

**Mukuro Don't!  
><strong>

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><p>"Kufufu, oya? Isn't this Sawada Tsunayoshi we have here?"<p>

How did this happen again? Oh right, he wants to know how other people would react if he tells them the "good new". And somehow, he ends up with Mukuro. Once again, damn his subconsciousness for leading him here.

"Mukuro."

_It is still not too late to back down now Tsuna, you better fly away this instant_- warns Mr. Hyper Intuition.

_Oh come on! Dude, just tell him that you are pregnant! It's no big deal right? Beside, you are curious of his answer. Don't deny it, I know you do_- smirks Mr. Subconscious.

"Kufufu, yes Sawada Tsunayoshi? Are you coming here for me to possess you?"

"No, I just want to tell you that I am pregnant."

"..." The silence greets Tsuna much to the latter's relief. But -yes, there is always a but- Mukuro's smirk wears off, replaced by a grave one, "It is my child right?"

The shock isn't that great since something like that is already expected. Or rather, Tsuna is now more or less insensitive to this kind of response, but still... "I'll never see you again too. Ever." Tsuna says as he escapes- I mean gracefully flies away.

"What do you mean by 'too'?! Who did you- Sawada Tsunayoshi you better give me an answer right this instant! This is my child!"

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><p><strong>AN So I am not really sure how Mukuro calls Tsuna 'cause in the Kokuyo arc he calls him "Vongola", whereas in the future arc, he calls him "Sawada Tsunayoshi", so I am not sure... hope you guys don't mind.**


	4. 4-Kyoko and Haru

**4- Kyoko and Haru Too?!  
><strong>

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><p>The soon to be Tenth Vongola boss pants heavily, leaning on a tree in a random park. He only encountered three of his acquaintances, yet he is already out of breath and emotionally beaten. Seriously beaten.<p>

Should this challenge still go on? No, continuing isn't such a good idea. He can just go to Hana and tell her that yes, his friends are all weirdos…

But, there is a "but", like usual.

His curiosity is acting up like crazy. He wants to know so badly how they are going to respond him. He will surely be crushed to the ground psychologically, and it will affect the rest of his life (the previous encounters are already starting to leave a scar)…

Is it really worth the risk?

"Ah! Tsuna-kun? Are you alright? You look really pale!"

"Hahi?! Tsuna-san?! Do you need Haru's Haru Haru super love healing kiss?"

Kyoko and Haru.

Let's take a bet, Tsuna decides internally. If they respond normally, which is to say that it is impossible for him to be pregnant, he stops the challenge. But if they don't… then today, he is going to go after everyone he knows until he gets the right answer.

Strictly speaking, this bet is on the favor of stopping the "tell people I am pregnant and see their reaction" stupid act, but… it seems like Tsuna underestimated the contagiousness of weirdness.

"Kyoko-chan, Haru, I am pregnant." Wrong move Tsuna, wrong move.

Kyoko's eyes widen before a sweet smile makes way to her lips, "Congratulation Tsuna-kun, I am so happy for you."

No.

"Hahi?!" Haru stares at the boy, "T-Tsuna-san is pregnant?! Then does that mean… I can't marry Tsuna-san anymore?!" With this, her eyes roll up and she faints from over shock.

This shouldn't be happening.

"Oh no! Haru-chan!" Kyoko catches her friend's falling form, "Tsuna-kun can you help me carry Haru-chan back home- eh? Tsuna-kun? Tsuna-kun? Where is he? He was just there seconds ago..."

Nope, _nope_, **nope**, **NOPE**! This can't be possible. Kyoko and Haru?! No, _no_, **no**, _**NO!**_

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><p><strong>AN I always have a poll on my profile, so if it's not too much trouble, can you guys please go vote? It's for future reference. **_**  
><strong>_

**Erm... just saying... Tsuna is a boy, legit male, and I really don't like mpreg? this is just like a parody or something... just saying...**


	5. 5-Reborn

**5- Reborn Stop!  
><strong>

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><p>Tsuna flies madly over Namimori, images of two of his most normal acquaintances believing that he really is pregnant clouds his thoughts. This is it. He's had enough. Time to find the person who is really sane, kidnap himher, and leave this nest of psychos.

The young boss, in his hurry to find a comrade, spots a familiar group of teens. He dives in, full speed, only to be halted by a shot.

"Reborn," Tsuna address calmly to his hellish tutor who is blocking his path, strapped to a floating Leon mini-helicopter, "what is it?"

The baby tilts his fedora down, hiding his expression, "I heard that you are pregnant."

The teen ponders for a second, "Do you believe it?" Please don't please don't.

"Hn." A smirk makes way to the dangerous baby's lips, "I didn't think it'll be early, for me to tutor the next Vongola heir that is."

DARN IT REBORN STOP MESSING AROUND!

"Well then, I'll go inform the Ninth about it."

_...Whatever_, Tsuna stares emotionlessly at the disappearing black figure, _I don't care anymore._

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><p><strong>AN I didn't really like the last chapter, mostly because I don't like Kyoko nor Haru. In any case, since I planned to at least do almost all the important characters, I couldn't really leave them... anyway i am glad both of them are gone for now.**


	6. 6-Yamamoto, Gokudera and Ryohei

**6- Yamamoto, Gokudera and Ryohei are Idiots...**

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><p>After seeing Reborn leaving to, aparently, tell the "good new" to the Ninth, Tsuna continues where he left off.<p>

He charges in toward the group of teen he spoted earlier, whose screams made way to his ears before even standing before them.

"EXTREME!" yells the Sun Guardian for, as usual, no apparent reason whatsoever.

"Shut up you lawn head! I am trying to find Juudaime." Yells back the white haired bomber quite energetically too.

"Ahaha, are we playing hide and seak?" No Yamamoto, stop it, we know that you know that you know this isn't game... Well that was confusing, moving on.

Tsuna lands before them suddenly. Without giving any of them a chance to speak, he announces his "pregnacy".

It results in an extreme silence, followed by three different reactions.

Gokudera, being the over protective watchdog he is, melts in a puddle of tears, cursing himself about how he failed to protect his boss.

Yamamoto on the other hand, is obviously congratulating Tsuna, even saying that he is awaiting the baby impatiently so that he can teach it how to play baseball, to which Gokudera weakly retorts with insults.

Ryohei is yelling words of congratulations out loud, which isn't so surprising.

In short, none of these reactions please Tsuna. Thus, he left in search of someone who can truly understand him.


	7. 7-Lambo and I-Pin

**7- Lambo and I-Pin Enough!  
><strong>

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><p>Tsuna eyes impassively the two kids before him. They are playing around loudly like usual, completely unaware of the young don's struggle.<p>

To ask, or not to ask: that is the question.

"Nyahaha! Lambo-sama spotted Dame-Tsuna!" The cow child's arrogant laugh makes way to Tsuna.

"Lambo! Behave!"

To ask it is.

"Say... would you two like to play with my child?" He pauses for a second before adding the crucial part, "I am pregnant."

The two stares at Tsuna, dumbfounded. After a while, just as a bit of colour finally gain the teen's once pale cheeks, a certain cow hits the poor boy back into hell.

"Nyahahaha, Lambo-sama is going to make him my minion!"

You don't even know if it's a boy or girl- wait, I am not even pregnant! Damn it I am being infected too!- thinks Tsuna bitterly.

"Can we play with your child?" I-Pin asks politely, surrounded by an aura of joy to another potential playmate.

Alright, enough with this none sense, time to leave.


	8. 8-Spanner

**8- Spanner Please...**

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><p>Tsuna stares at the teen before him, hope shinning in his eyes. Who else to bet on better than Spanner, the genius in mechanics? Even though in this time, he is still a teenager, but his skills are already more than enough proof to reflect on his talent. That is why, Tsuna doesn't believe there is a chance that he would actually receive anything of the sort he did with the others...<p>

Boy, he is wrong.

"It is a boy or a girl?" Spanner asks monotonely with a lollipo in his mouth. "I can share a few of my lollipop with the kid. Oh, but it can't eat any until probably one years old." He blinks a few times in thoughts under Tsuna's speechless stare, "Oh well, congratulation on your pregnacy I guess."

"..." Tsuna stares at the young mechanic, his head throbbing with tiredness.

"..." The blond stares back with his usual bored look.

"Would you like some lollipop though. Actually I am not sure if you can, with the baby inside you and high sugar-" Spanner stops talking at once seeing the parting figure of his friend, "Oh well, more candy for me."

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><p><strong>AN Please review? :3**


	9. 9-Dino

**9- Dino-san How?!  
><strong>

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><p>"Ah! Tsuna, I was searching for you." A voice pulls the teen out of his trance. After his encounter with Spanner, Tsuna left imediatly to the park, staring at the sky and wondering where did it go wrong, or rather, how come he is surrounded by so many weirdos.<p>

"Dino-san..." The boy sighs weakly.

He saw hope with Spanner, but it turned out to be merely a faulse alarm. That is why, right now, Tsuna isn't even hoping anymore.

"Tsuna, I heard that... you..." Dino frowns deeply, scrutinzing his little brother's tired visage.

The latter nos slightly, knowing exactly what the man means.

"I see... but how..."

Hearing these words, the teen immediately perks up. Did he really hear what he just heard? Dino-san said "but how"? The "but", not the "butt", but _the_ "but" he has being waiting for so long! And this marvelous "how", inquired by so many researchers, that contains the universe's essence! He said it! Dino Cavallone, he said it! He-

"Aww that's cute. I can't wait to become the child's uncle." The cheerful blond laughs delightedly with this subordinates giving thumbs up in the background.

...Of course, joy is always short lived with Tsuna.


	10. 10-Varia

**10- Stupid Varia**

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><p>"Hahahaha!" A loud booming voice makes Tsuna cringe uncomfortably, his tympanum sending waves of pain to his brain, demanding shelter, "That weakling is going to have a kid before you damn boss.<p>

...Looks like the "test" is not working out with them either.

Understanding that he doesn't have anything else to do with this group of psychotic assassins, Tsuna activates his flame and prepares to fly away, only to be halted by an intense gust of fire.

With his guns brandished steadily toward the teen, Xanxus spits darkly, "I'll get rid of the baby and the..." He hesitates for a few seconds, before continuing a tone slightly lower as if he isn't sure of what he is going to say, "Mother..."

_So apparently, I am a girl now._ Tsuna thinks bitterly, _well this is a first today. At least someone listened in their bio class._

"A baby... another mouth to feed, another body to dress. What a waste of money." Mammon the Arcobaleno mumbles under his breath, floating in the air while attacking Tsuna with illusions, following his Boss' wish of course.

"Good, another target for my practice." Belphegor laughs eerily, circling Tsuna with his daggers.

Levi-a-tan stays silent all the while attacking the young boss, but still steal multiple glances at his boss lovingly. God knows what he is thinking right now... actually maybe even God doesn't want to know...

Lussuria is the only Varia member to stay put and do nothing. Or rather, he is too occupied with the idea of Tsuna being pregnant. How lovely, a child! A cute little thing will be born for him to dress up prettily, a cute little thing for him to teach _his_ unique fashion sense. Lussuria can already see the little one, trailing behind him with a mohawk similar to his, calling him sweetly as Auntie Lussuria.

Tsuna freezes the Varia without even a flinch and flies away.

Remember, never annoy a man who has lost his hope. On top of that, never annoy a _powerful_ one who can do illogical things with his dying will flame that has crushed multiple times his enemies, and who has not only saved the world once... Not naming anyone, just saying.

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><p><strong>AN Please review?**


	11. 11-Arcobaleno

**11-Arcobalenos… Just No…**

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><p>"I heard that you are pregnant, korra!"<p>

News sure fly around quickly, don't they? Tsuna muses to himself. After so much psychological attacks from his friends, he can proudly declares that he would no longer feel anything, unlike when he first started.

He takes a sip from the juice he bought after encountering Dino-san... might as well not remember such memories.

"You better invite us to your wedding, Sawada." Lal Mirch kicks an unsuspecting Colonello away and declares bossily.

Tsuna gives a side glance to the now grown up adult calmly. After all he experienced, he can maintain his cool without his hyper dying will anymore. "Said the person who got dumped in her own wedding."

Lal Mirch's gloating smile freezes on her lips. Almost immediately, she advances toward Tsuna, her fist high in the air ready to strike, only to be stopped by an even more annoying voice.

"OOOH BURN!"

Lal Mirch turns her head to Skull, who only realized what he said out loud.

"I-I... I am so sorry- OUAHH!" The helmet wearing baby's head is buried deep in the cement ground, on top him stands Colonello.

"What did you say, punk?" The blond baby asks darkly, "Who the heck do you think you are to-"

He too, is kicked away. Only this time, by his fiancee.

Tsuna stares emotionlessly at the scene unfolding before him. He looks up, notices that it is getting late, so decides to go home or something.

"I should test your strength... even with the pregnancy."

Passing by Verde who came out of nowhere, Tsuna begins to miss his old life. If only he didn't bother to listen to Kurokawa... After all, even though it was pretty hectic back then, it is still far way better than now. At least it's less awkward, and much less pregnancy problems to deal with.

"My, my. Verde, this isn't the proper way to treat the next Vongola don." A smooth voice rings behind the parting Tsuna, followed by an ugly screech of a machine breaking.

"Tch, you broke my new invention."

"I deeply apologize."

"As if."

Tsuna pounders silently. He met all the Arcobalenos except Yuni. To be honest, he really doesn't want the little girl to know about this crazy situation. One must protect the pure souls, that's what he believes in.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi-san," a sweet voice calls the boy. He turns around and sees Yuni walking toward him with a slight frown, followed closely by Byakuran.

Something is going to happen, and he isn't going to like it for sure... 99.99% chance that it is because of that white head.

"Yuni." He greets her softly, eyes set her face and resolved to ignore the blissful teen behind her.

No hi for Byakuran.

"Sawada-san, I heard about..." Yuni's voice trails off hesitantly before she gets her courage back together and says out loud something that makes Tsuna wish he's being born deaf, "But even so, please take responsibility for Byakuran!"

...What kind of plot twist is this?!

Shooting a murderous glare to Byakuran, Tsuna can more or less guess what happened. The white haired teen must have said something to the gullible Yuni, such as "I am pregnant of Tsunayoshi-kun's child, but he won't take responsibility".

"Tsu-Tsu..." Byakuran begins softly.

Tsu-Tsu?! Tsu-Tsu?! This name is like the unholy offspring of diarrhea and nausea. And coming from Byakuran's mouth with his trademark sweet curl at the end of his sentence makes it even worse.

Without further ado, Tsuna ignores the group, even Yuni, and once again activates his dying will to fly away.

For once, he is glad to have such power. After all, the art to be able to leave is also a very important aspect in one's life.

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><p><strong>AN sorry I don't really remember how Yuni calls Tsuna.**


	12. 12- Irie Shoichi

**12- Irie Shoichi My Friend!**

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><p>"YOU WHAT?!"<p>

Irie Shochi roars uncharacteristically in a certain brunet's direction.

"S-Shoichi-san?"

"H-how... How can you possibly be pregnant?!" The younger version of hottie- i mean ten years older Irie Shoichi we all know so well pulls his hairs in confusion, "It is biologically impossible! How- argh my stomach."

Upon hearing those words, Tsuna stays frozen on the spot.

Irie Shoichi didn't think that he is pregnant?

Someone, and not just anyone, someone of his acquaintance actually pointed this ridiculous pregnancy out and is freaking out about it just like him?!

At last! There are still sane people on this planet!

It wasn't just luck he decided to stroll in the streets a bit more before going home, it is fate.

Friend, I finally found you!

Tsuna takes Irie Shoichi's hand in his and clasps his hands around, making the carrot colored haired teen twitch uncomfortable, momentarily forgetting his stomach pain, "Let's run away."

...How about no?

Irie Shoichi can barely control his face to at least not make a grimace at Tsuna. Not that it is easy though, seeing how suggestive what the latter said was. Honestly, he shouldn't have watched those soap opera with his mother and his sister.

He gently takes Tsuna's hand and tries to make them let go, to no avail.

"...C-can you like... let me go?"

"No."

"W-why?!" Irie Shoichi yells helplessly, "I still have undone homework!"

"That can wait for later," Tsuna ignores him and activates his flames for the nth time in one day, "I will bring you to a mountain and we will live there until we die."

"..." WHAT IS HAPPENING?! MOM, SIS, I AM BEING KIDNAPPED BY MY FRIEND WHO CAN MAKE FIRE ON HIS FOREHEAD! SOMEONE HELP!

Unfortunately for Irie Shoichi, his friend who can make fire on his forehead has already decided since a while (and still remembers) to kidnap anyone who questions his pregnancy with him, and hide in the wood or some place like that.

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><p><strong>AN Finally I finished the exams I am so happy you can't imagine it. yeah exams retard the update**

**btw anyone notice I changed the cover? :) I was overjoyed when I saw that pregnancy meme on tumblr so I had to do one and made it the cover. it's like so perfect. this story started before the meme I think I am just so happy it's like that meme is born for this (wow ok no need to exaggerate here)**


	13. 13-Enma Kozato

**13- Enma The Other Friend! (*cough* must kidnap *cough*)**

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><p>"Tsuna-kun!"<p>

Tsuna slows down slightly upon hearing a familiar voice. The very next second, he narrows his eyes in alarm and pulls Irie Shouchi away from an outstretched hand.

No one, I repeat, no one is going to steal the precious red haired friend who listened in biology class away from the young don.

Tsuna gathers his flames in one hand and is about to strike, only to be halted by the familiar face before him.

Is that... yes it is Enma, one of Tsuna's closest friend, grabbing unceremoniously the said teen's prisoner- I mean comrade who has being chosen to live in the wood/mountain (whatever, it's not important anyway) with the soon-to-be Vongola Decimo... Although, if he really chooses to live int he wild, does that mean the Vongola HQ has to move too? Hum... good question...

In any case, Tsuna, slightly annoyed that someone would interrupt him in his much pressing matter of kidnapping- I mean gently taking away Irie Shoichi, frowns at the poor Enma. The latter smiles apologetically to the brunet, before pointing to an already passed out Shoichi.

"Tsuna-kun, you might want to slow down a bit... I think Shoichi-san won't be able to stand it much longer."

Indeed, said Shoichi-san is already throwing up in the background the moment his feet touch the ground.

Tsuna shows an apologetic expression, but makes no further indication or desire to let the poor teen go home. No kidding, normal friends are precious, there is no way he would let any escape.

"Enma-kun, what are you doing here?" Tsuna averts his attention to the other read haired teen.

"Well," Enma scratches his head awkwardly, making sure that what he is about to say is well structured and won't come out weird, "I heard that you are pregnant?"

...Well, it is almost impossible for such question to not sound weird, especially asked toward a male... mainly toward a male...

Tsuna keeps his silence. To be honest, he anticipated that much. After all, never underestimate the power of gossip, and that, he knows. That is why, the fact that Enma caught wind of his "pregnancy" really doesn't surprise him.

However, what surprises him comes right after, "But how is that possible? Unless you had some kind of surgery...?" _-Or you were a girl all along?_ The last part was left unsaid.

Tsuna can feel his lips tug up considerable until he is laughing.

...Oh my, look at that, another friend has arrived.

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><p><strong>AN I am sorry for any bug in this fic I'll correct them once the story is completed**.


	14. 14-Basil

**14- Okay Basil Whatever You Say**

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><p>"T-Tsuna-kun, where are you taking us to?" Enma asks nervously, sweeping the sweats pearling on his forehead with his sleeve.<p>

"Honestly," Tsuna looks straight before him, forcing- I mean pulling an exhausted Irie Shoichi in his direction, "I have no idea myself."

"..." I WANT TO GO HOME ALREADY! Irie Shoichi is on the verge of crying. He excels in technology, not in physical exercises! In only a few hours, Tsuna has pulled him walk almost the equivalent distance to how much he walked in his entire life so far.

Well son, you shouldn't have questioned Tsuna's pregnancy to begin with.

"Sawada-dono!" Tsuna turns his head to the voice's source and sees Basil running toward them in haste.

For some reason, Tsuna has great expectation for the teen. The once lost hope is starting to build up inside him. He already found two, and maybe Basil will be the third.

The young Vongola's lips tug up considerably, sending shivers down Irie Shouichi's spine.

God no, not this smile again.

"Good day, Basil-kun."

"G-good day Sawada-dono," Basil stops in front of the group abruptly, panting slightly from all the running he did since a while ago in order to find Tsuna, "I have a message from Boss. He has arrived in Namimori a few hours ago and wishes to see thou."

Tsuna raises hie eyebrow in surprise, wondering if Nono came because the "pregnancy" affair.

He turns his head to look at a startled Irie Shouichi, and a confused Enma.

If he goes back to see Nono, these two are going home. After all, if the old Boss came from Italy to Japan in such a short time, he probably has something private to tell him, whether it is the pregnancy rumor or not.

Well, Tsuna lets go of Irie Shouichi's arm, he know who are sane and who aren't, so he can just capture them after Nono is done talking.

"Let's go then." Tsuna nods to Basil, indicating the latter to show the way, almost making a certain glass wearing teen faint from over joy.

Home sweet home. Irie Shouichi has decided, from this moment, to never leave his room ever again. He has enough of being dragged to an unexpected and quite unpleasant trip with Tsuna. To be honest, he secretly thinks the latter is slowly going insane, bringing others with him.

"By the way, Sawada-dono, do thou know if it is a boy or a girl?" Basil asks politely.

Tsuna closes his eyes in exhaustion.

...No really, why did he even get his hopes high for?

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><p><strong>AN Idk what to write anymore... writer's block incoming! Seriously please help me guys. Who should I write next? Do you guys want Tsuna to directly go to Nono like Basil said or someone's going to stick in?**


	15. 15-The End

**Ok**

**A/N Last chapter? idk who wants a tiny extra with the first generation?**

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><p>Tsuna stares at the scene unfolding before him. Okay, he did not expect things to turn out this way. Actually, he should've had expected it, seeing how much acquaintance he met today. It is no wonder that somehow, they are gathered together. It is a miracle that a fight hasn't broke out yet.<p>

Kurokawa walks toward the boy, her lips twitches into a gloat smirk, "So, how's the baby?"

The usually soft nature teen sends deadly glares to the one who caused it all.

The taller girl just shrug it off, totally unaffected by Tsuna's unusual behavior. To be honest, she really doesn't give a penny what the boy feel. It doesn't concern her after all. Besides, it is really funny to see him like that. "Oh well, the grandma of the kid incoming, Kurokawa going now." She walks away just as leisurely as she appeared.

"Tsu-kun," Mama approaches her son, inquiry clear in her eyes, "What is with the gathering here?"

"N-nothing." Tsuna answers stiffly. He learned his lesson. Never let go of his curiosity. Besides, he is pretty sure that his own mother knows how impossible it is for him to get pregnant… pretty sure… actually he isn't so sure now...

"Really? Not that I am complaining though. I mean, it looks quite fun, but what event is it? I have seen a lot of familiar faces since a while ago."

Tsuna can feel his right eye twitching slightly. Yeah, a lot of familiar faces that totally ruined his day. Wait no, more like ruined his life.

"I-I have no idea." Actually he does have a general idea of what is going on, thanks to his super intuition. And knowing that doesn't really help the fact that he really wants to escape right now. Of course, he would drag Irie Shouichi and Enma with him. Never forget the normal friends.

From the corner of his eyes, he spots Iemitsu walking toward them with a huge smile on his face, the usual.

The older man laces an arm around his wife's waist when he is close enough, and begins to chat happily with her and his son.

For some reason, Tsuna is quite certain that his father already heard of the rumor.

After a while, Iemitsu pulls his dear wife away to chat with some other acquaintance. Although, before going away, he gives a pat on Tsuna's shoulder and winks joyfully, "Congrats, my son."

"..." Tsuna keeps a composed façade, but only he knows how shaken up he really is inside. His dad, his biological father, the man who technically is absent most of the time in his life but still is one of his parents, just congratulated him out of nowhere. There is coincidence; it isn't out of nowhere, Iemitsu _knows_ about _it_, Tsuna is certain about that.

At this moment, a familiar silhouette seen from the corner of his eyes pulls Tsuna's drifting soul back to his body. He looks up and sees Nono, standing on a quite large platform, a huge smile on his face and eyes twinkling in joy.

For some reason, he wants to run away this instant. And that is exactly what he did, until he is stopped by a weight on his shoulder almost immediately.

"Tsuna, where are you going?"

Somewhere people who won't think he is pregnant are.

"Hn," With this huff, the cold barrel of a familiar looking gun is pressed against Tsuna's temple. "Turn back and wait for what Nono wants."

Is it worth dying in order to escape?

...Nah.

Tsuna blinks innocently and ignores the gun still pressed against his head.

"Hn." A grunt of approval followed by the disappearance of the deadly weight on his head makes the teen internally sighs in relief.

Letting his eyes travel around, Tsuna notices that most of the people gathered here are part of the Mafia.

Dino is discussing light-heartily with his trusted right-hand man, Romano, and a few of his subordinates. That makes the Cavallone Famiglia.

Enma and the whole band are talking to Tsuna's own family members. It seems like they are all able to control their impulsive violence, considering how no fight has started yet… Although, that is to be observed further. With Adelheid and Hibari there, nothing is really safe. Not to add that Mukuro is grinning beside them, eyes twinkling with the desire to start something up. Actually, every single one of them are restless, except maybe the two chatting technicians, Kyoko and Haru with a glass wearing Bianchi. Well, that makes the Shimon Decimo and Vongola Decimo Famglias.

"Boss," A timid voice cuts in Tsuna's musing, "I bought something for you."

The purple haired maiden blinks innocently to her boss, a faint smile of happiness graces her lips. She brings forward a neatly wrapped present, and patiently waits for the teen before her to take it.

Tsuna stares at the box before him. He is pretty sure that nothing good will come out of it.

"Thank you…" He opens the gift nevertheless, not wanting to disappoint his mist guardian, and finds a book inside. Just as he is about to let out a sigh of relief, since apparently the book has no connection whatsoever to pregnancy, he spots one of the words in the title, printed in bold golden English letters on a blue canvas, "FATHER".

Now, the thing is, no matter how long he has being referred as "Dame-Tsuna", he still has a basic knowledge on such a simple English word. And that f-word, probably not the same f-word you all are thinking about right now, the f-word that hold the meaning of one's parent, strikes him so hard that he almost stumbles down, if not for a faint warning grunt from the deadly infant sitting on his shoulder.

Well, Tsuna muses bitterly inside, at least Chrome still thinks that I am a guy…

"Tsuna-nii!" A child's voice makes him look down. Fuuta is grinning widely, showing his well-brushed teeth, "Congratulation, Tsuna-nii!"

With this, he runs back to the now bickering group of teen consisted of the Vongola and Shimon, chased by a slightly flustered Chrome.

Tsuna doesn't even want to think anymore.

Byakuran's constant stare on him sure isn't helping the situation. So, wisely, Tsuna chooses to ignore the teen along with his family members.

The CEDEF has also came, gathering around his dad and mom, or around Nono. Basil is standing beside Iemitsu diligently.

The Arcobalenos, including Reborn, unfortunately, are all present… what a shame… although, the gun that is once again pressed against his head says otherwise.

For some odd reason, a Vendice is standing in the room, constantly emitting a dangerous aura, making no one dare to approach them. Bermuda, the once cursed Arcobaleno baby, is perched on the said Vendice's shoulder like a hawk.

The Varia are, for some reason, arguing among themselves. Sometime, they would look up in Tsuna's direction, only to duck their head back in the somewhat heated debate. One that doesn't interest Tsuna one bit to be honest.

As Tsuna finishes scanning his surrounding, Nono has also finished the preparation.

He coughs lightly in a microphone, grabbing everyone's attention, before announcing proudly, with his own guardians behind him, that it is a big day of Tsuna, his dear grandson.

Well, technically, not direct grandson, but they are still related by the Vongola blood. Minor details.

Anyway, Tsuna shifts uneasily under all the gazes suddenly thrown at him. Fortunately, he is immediately backed up by his guardians.

After all, they aren't that bad, Tsuna thinks internally, glad that he has such good friend.

However, his heart full of thankful feelings turns into helpless anger the moment he notices the way some of his guardians glancing discreetly at his belly.

Never mind, he is still very angry at them.

"I now announce Sawda Tsunayoshi as my successor. The official inheritance ceremony will take place a few months later." Tsuna has being so busy minding with his friends' quite annoying glances to his stomach that he only snapped out of it the moment Nono finished speaking.

Tsuna widens his eyes.

He finally understands.

That is why almost everyone he knows is present. It isn't just for him to conveniently go spread his fake pregnancy to every living soul he knows, but they are gathered here for the soon to be coming inheritance ceremony!

Also, he finally understands why his dad congratulated him! It isn't because of the ridiculous pregnancy rumor; it is because he knows that today Nono will announce when the once interrupted inheritance ceremony will take place! His father isn't insane!

As for the fact that his friends believed that he is pregnant, they must have all agreed to pull a prank on him.

In any case, Tsuna would rather be Neo Vongola Primo than pregnant.

But really... Are you sure Tsuna? Are you really sure that your father didn't mean it both ways, both the pregnancy and the inheritance? Are you certain that they didn't really take your "pregnancy" at heart and fully believed it? Are you absolutely sure? Because I am not.

And thus, was the story of how Neo Vongola Primo got pregnant in his tender teenager years.

Years later, anything revolving around the Neo Primo's pregnancy at the age of 15 has being declared as the highest taboo in the Vongola Tenth generation's history. After all, even though the young don has formed an explanation of his own about it, it doesn't mean that he likes to be reminded of this dark day. Whoever dares talk about it will face the Neo Primo's wrath. In person. And believe me, no one wants to be caught.

Well, that is not to mean that there aren't any talks about _it_ in the back. After all, whatever is forbidden is the most attractive, isn't it?

* * *

><p><strong>AN So hey I've noticed a few bugs as to why is Spanner and some others in Namimori when they shouldn't be. Since I am too lazy to change it, let's just say that they are in Namimori because Nono told them to be there. That's that.**

**Please tell me if I forgot someone. **


	16. 16-Nono

**16-Nono No...**

**A/N No pun intended in the title ;D**

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><p>Every soul dipped in the underground's darkness knows about the absolute taboo: never ever talk about Neo Vogola Primo's pregnancy… at least when talking about it, make sure that he wouldn't know.<p>

The official release of the taboo stated that the young don was so annoyed at that ridiculous rumor, one that started, cough, out of nowhere apparently, cough, decided after his inheritance to make it an absolute taboo, still according to the official version. Actually, that was the first thing he did right after becoming Neo Vongola Primo.

What most of the people didn't know was the true version of what really happened on that fateful day.

So, let's testify the absolute truth with our own eyes.

That day, right after Nono announced the date of the inheritance, he has requested a private audience with the soon to be young boss.

The older man sits down on a sofa and indicates Tsuna to sit beside him. He only begins when his subordinate closes the door respectfully, leaving the two alone in the room. "So, Tsunayoshi, I have heard from Reborn about your condition." The old man smiles kindly to his only successor.

Tsuna can feel his eyes twitch uncomfortably. Alright, no big deal, Reborn did tell him that he's going to report to Nono, no big deal, no big deal... who is he kidding to? He can't feel even a vibe of shock from his grandfather. This isn't normal, meaning that Nono is probably (most likely) to think that he really is pregnant.

It is alright, Tsuna comforts himself inwardly, it's not like it never happened before, right?

"So, what do you think about it?" The old Boss asks gently.

...I think that all the people I know are insane, especially people from the Mafia.

Of course, he can't actually say that, so Tsuna opted for a softer reply, "I am fine with it..." His voice trails off weakly. Hell no he is not fine with all this bullshit going around.

First of all, he didn't get any surgery.

Secondly, he is not hermaphrodite.

Thirdly, he is NOT a girl.

Finally, he really listened in class and his teacher said loud and clear that normal men who didn't undergo any surgery or born with an uterus can't be pregnant.

Sigh...

"Is that so." Nono, seemingly unfazed by Tsuna's unfocused attention, pats the youngster's shoulder. "You know, I was a lot like you before."

This catches Tsuna's attention.

Hold on... does that mean that Nono also had this kind of problem? The everyone-thinks-you-are-pregnant-even-though-you-are-a-boy kind of problem?

Oh. My. God.

His throat squeezes with the envy to shout out in absolute joy. Finally! He isn't alone! Someone, and not anyone from the street, his grandpa understands him! He understands his helplessness facing his guardians and friends, the strong desire to blow something up just to let go of this frustration, to take a huge megaphone so he can yell over and over that he isn't pregnant!

"I mean, it's not everyday that you succeed a Mafia family, is it?" Nono laughs lightheartedly, "I remember my own nervousness like it was yesterday. Time sure flies."

...Oh. It's just about the Vongola.

Tsuna forces a smile and nods along with the old Boss.

Empty hope again. No really, why is he expecting again?

* * *

><p><strong>AN on second thought, I am not finished yet making fun of baby tsu.**


	17. 17- Fight It Out

**17- Fight It Out**

* * *

><p>"I still think it's going to be a girl." Adelheid concludes proudly, to which Gokudera snaps back furiously.<p>

"Ehm, excuse you. Juudaime is pregnant of a boy. Know your fact, woman."

"And how did _you_ know what gender the baby is going to be, Mr. Self Proclaimed Right-Hand Man?"

Now this really hit right in the bulls-eye, hard.

"Who the heck do you-" Gokudera struggles fiercely against Yamamoto and Ryohei's grip, "I AM NOT SELF PROCLAIMED! I AM THE LEGIT RIGHT-HAND MAN!"

"Oh sure," Adelheid snorts in disdain at the furious teen, "whatever keeps your fragile glass heart together."

"A-Adel, please d-don't say that." Enma tries in vain to squeeze in between the two, praying for the moment Tsuna is going to come and lend him a hand.

Meanwhile, on the Arcobaleno's side, the discussion is also heated, if not more.

"I am telling you, 'Ciel' is the best name for the baby!" Skull exclaims enthusiastically, his spirit pumped up for the sole reason that maybe, just maybe Reborn is going to be occupied with the new arrival, thus his life as the lackey will end.

"How cliché." Mammon sneers in disdain and floats away back to the Varia.

"How about Aoi? Tsunayoshi is Japanese after all." Fon states calmly, "Maybe he would like to have a Japanese name for the baby."

"Oh really now, it isn't because Vongola is the Sky guardian that you absolutely have to emphasis it." Verde glances at the group before him, "I mean, you don't absolutely have to name the kid as 'sky' or 'blue' or anything that has to do with it, you know?" What he didn't add, was that he prefer to name the kid "Hime", since he always thought that Tsuna looked like a girl...

Colonello nods in agreement to the scientist, "Image how people would call the kid later on, especially if he would be called as 'Aoi Ciel'. It would be ridiculous: 'Blue Sky the kid of the Sky guardian of the Clam family'. Pff, no seriously though, who chose to name the family as 'clam'?"

Everyone keeps their silence. A second later, the expected blow lands on the blond baby's head mercilessly, coming from a certain hitman, "Insult the Vongola family once again and I swear you will burn in hell the next nano second."

Seeing the satisfied grin from the black haired baby, the discussion is resumed as if Colonello never talked.

"I think Ron would make a good name." Lal Mirch continues, "It's short, easy to remember, and easy to pronounce."

"Isn't Ron the name of your pet dog?" Skull asks softly, regretting it as soon as he finishes.

Lal Mirch shots a deadly glare toward the stuntman, "So what if it is?"

"Maa, let's not fight." Yuni smiles brightly, soothing the tension, "We still haven't decided a name for the baby yet."

Reborn tilts his fedora proudly, "Cielo it is then."

OMG Reborn you just took my suggestion and translated it in Italian like did you ever heard of copy-right? Skull sulks internally, not even daring to mumble.

He too, unfortunately, is send flying away by Reborn. It seems like the hitman's mind reading skill is as sharp as ever.

The poor stuntman crashes in a wall next to the Varia. Luckily for him, the group of deadly assassins is too absorbed into their own heated debate that they didn't notice him. And the said debate, believe it or not, revolves around how long has Tsuna being pregnant.

"I am telling you, it shouldn't be too long." Squalo swings his sword around impatiently, "His belly isn't even so big!"

Lussuria sends him a disapproving glance, "Don't you know that some pregnancies aren't that visible? Don't you ever watch those shows with the girl pregnant but unknowing about it because she doesn't feel anything out of the ordinary? Usually, at the first pregnancy, the swell of the belly is visible only after around 3 months. Know your facts, men."

"VOII! Who cares about your shitty facts?!" Squalo swings his sword at a even fast pace.

"So," Xanxus taps on the handle of his chair rhythmically, a sign that shows he is in deep thoughts, "what you are saying is that he is only pregnant recently."

"Ushishishi, are you planning something, Boss?" Bel chuckles eerily while playing with his knife.

Xanxus sneers darkly, "Well, wouldn't it be nice if we paid a little visit to the-" He halts for a second to decide whether to use the word "mother" or "father". Finally, he makes his choice, "-The other parent of the kid."

Smart choice of using the gender neutral, Xanxus.

"Mufufu, are we going to give-" Mammon halts too, finally deciding to follow his Boss' lead, "-the other parent of the kid a 'nice gift'? Money not included."

Leviathan merely sighs dreamily, still caught up in the daydream of being with his Boss, doing this and that.

"Let's go see the other parent then." Squalo agrees too.

The Varia lightning guardian wonders in a bliss when will they have a kid too.

"Muu~ I wonder how the other parent looks like~"

Just imagining their kid, a mini version of dear Boss... Ooooh~ such wonder, much amaze!

"Voii. Who cares about how the other parent looks like, as long as we have that other parent, that brat is going to listen to us."

He just can't wait the moment Boss will- Xanxus' merciless knuckle on the man's head renders him unconscious.

"Fucking trash looking at me like that."

And so, Tsuna's nonexistent partner has being defined as the "other parent" by the Varia minus Leviathan because really, he didn't listen at all, only daydream being with his Boss doing this and that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN A few translations, in case you don't already know.**

**Aoi means blue in Japanese.**

**Hime means princess in Japanese.**

**Vongola mean clam in Italian. Well actually I believe it is vongole, but who cares.**

**Cielo means sky in Italian. I think...**

**So yeah this is a chapters where I basically ruin everyone's image. I mean, imagine these though mafiosi, discussing very seriously about Tsuna's pregnancy. That is enough to make me crack up in laughter.**

**I hope there's not much OCC, because I really hate them. And even though this is a crack fic, I try to keep the characters as they are.**


	18. 18-How To Propose, That Is The Question

**18-How To Propose, That Is The Question**

* * *

><p>"I think Tsunayoshi-kun likes flowers though." Byakuran mutters out loud, "Maybe I could give him a bouquet of marshmallow flower?"<p>

"Byakuran, he isn't going to accept your proposition if you do that!" Bluebell frowns deeply, unable to understand the lack of romantic cell in her Boss' brain. "You have go give him red roses, big, big pretty red roses!"

At this exact moment, Kikyo appears with a huge smile, "Oho, I have just the right thing." Taking out the neatly arranged red roses from behind him, he gives them to Byakuran with a polite bow.

Unfortunately, the stubborn white haired teen wasn't even listening to their conversation. Rather, he was so focused on the idea of a marshmallow bouquet that he didn't bother to pay attention to his surrounding since.

"A collar would be good." Zakuro mumbles softly, then raises his voice to share his idea, "A collar would be really good. Instead of a ring, it would lock him with Boss forever."

Hearing this, Torikabuto immediately creates a variety of collar, from wild to the cute type so that they can have a visual for which would be the prettiest for the wedding. Needless to say, they are very efficient even with the crazy cells running in their brain.

Daisy picks a quite morbid collar out of the bunch, suggesting it to the others.

"Oho, that would suit you better than Tsunayoshi-kun." Kikyo comments almost without looking, making Daisy happily tuck the said collar in his own pocket.

"I know!" Byakuran suddenly clasps his hands together, "I am going to create a marshmallow collar for my cute Tsunayoshi-kun!"

His guardians collectively look away... How about no?

* * *

><p><strong>AN So yeah I recently finished all the exams so here I am, back to updating this fic :)**


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